Me Without You
by Ares' Warrior Babe
Summary: Joe didn't die, that was a dream after all. Though relieved, now Allison has to figure out why she's being tortured by her subconscious.


**A/N: So I don't know about you guys, but it's been a few days since the finale aired and my mind still cannot comprehend Joe dying. Like, I get that they wanted it to be emotional and everything, but really? Kill Joe? For good? And it's real? WHAT THE HELL? My mind refuses to wrap itself around that. I can't accept it. I'm like Allison. I can't accept it, so I'm fixing it. Because really, why would anybody want Joe dead! That's just way too much heartache for Allison to bare! And honestly, I don't think she'd be able to survive without him. He's like her heart, her soul mate and when you lose your soul mate, you become the shell of your former self. **

She was tossing in her sleep. Blankets wrapped themselves tightly around her, keeping her cocooned in her nightmare.

_"The plane, Allison, something went wrong with one of the engines." I stared at Joe as he backed up into the darkenss of the hallway. He had to be wrong. He couldn't be dead._

_"No...no, no. This isn't right, that can't be right."_

_"It is. I didn't make it. Allison. None of us made it. I'm so sorry." I wanted to scream. It can't be real._

_"Stop saying that. Do you hear me? I wanna wake up now. I wanna wake up and find you beside me. I wanna hold you." My throat began constricting. It's not real! It can't be!_

_"I'd like that too. But you're not gonna wake up from this, Allison. This isn't a dream. The dreams, everything you just went through..."_

_"No...no!"_

_"I sent it to you. I was trying to show you how things could be. I was trying to show you that in spite of this you could still have an amazing life. That you could be a lawyer, that the girls could turn out great. I wanted you to see how happy you could be. But something happened, you took over somehow. Even in a dream you couldn't accept that I was gone. So you brought me back to life. You, Allison. You made it so you'd find me in Mexico. You made it so we could be together again. But we can't. Because things like that only happen in dreams."_

_I could feel tears start making their way down my cheeks. This had to be some cruel cosmic joke._

_"This is going to be hard; this is going to be awful. It's gonna be awful for a long time. But you will get past it. Everything we have built in our life, you'll keep it going without me."_

_"I can't, I can't. I need you, Joe. Who's gonna walk Ariel down the aisle when she gets married? Who's gonna get Bridgette and Marie through being teenagers? Who's gonna...who's gonna talk to me at night before I fall asleep? It's you and me. We've been together for...so long. I don't even know if there is a me without you." _'There isn't...' I thought to myself. 'He's what holds you together.'

_"There is. I'm not just saying that. I've seen it." Joe paused. "I love you, Allison. I'll always love you. Never forget that."_

_"Please, my love, please, I love you. Don't leave me. Please. Please. Please don't leave me. Please stay." He began to disappear and I got to my knees, folding my hands together, begging him with everything that I had in me to stay..._

Allison bolted up, gasping for breath as she struggled out of the blankets. There was wetness on her cheeks and she swiftly brought up her shaking hands to wipe away the tears. She wasn't sure what was real. Was this reality? Was that really just a dream? Or did Joe really die and leave her? Did Joe really tell her goodbye for the last time?

A sob escaped her and Allison curled herslef in a ball, resting her head on Joe's pillow. Hot tears spilled on the the sheets as she cried. She needed him here with her in that moment, if only to gain her sanity back.

Through her cries she faintly heard her new cell phone go off. Allison blindly reached out for it. Her vision was too blurry to make out the name on the screen. She wiped away the remainder of her tears and answered it. "Hello?"

"So we picked up a tail-wind and are actually landing at five instead of six." Allison's breath caught in her throat.

"Joe..." she whispered out. The tears were building back up again. She looked at the clock noting that it was already 4:33. "I'm coming to pick you up," Allison declared.

"Oh, no, you don't have to do that, darlin', I can call the car service," he responded.

"Joe, I'm coming."

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Joe and Allison))))))))))))))))))))))))))

It felt like an eternity waiting for Joe to appear at the gate. Allison paced up and down the terminal, wringing her hands together. She was afraid that this might not be real. Once she was back in Joe's arms, maybe she'd be able to breathe again. "Allison!" She heard his voice and looked up. A smile broke out over her face and she ran to him. He caught her in a tight embrace, pressing his body to hers. "I missed you," Joe whispered while pressing a kiss to her temple.

She tightened her grip on him and buried her face in his neck. "Don't ever leave me again," Allison whispered back to him. Joe didn't answer, he just held her as she clung to him. He knew something was bothering her, he had caught a glimpse of her red-rimmed eyes before she hugged him.

"I love you, Allison." She could feel the tiny pinpricks of tears forming as she held on.

"I love you too, Joe." Allison pulled back from the hug and laced her fingers with his, her eyes shining. "Let's go home."

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Joe and Allison)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Joe stared at his wife as she navigated through the streets of Phoenix. Her eyes met his. "Why are you staring at me?" Allison questioned.

He smiled softly at her. "I haven't seen my beautiful wife in six days, I think I'm allowed to stare." Joe reached over to grab her hand and brought it to his lips, placing a kiss on her skin. "Have I mentioned how much I missed you?" 

"Once or twice," Allison mused. "I'm so happy you're home, Joe."

"Yeah, now you can sleep better," he teased. Allison tensed at the mention of sleep. "Hey, what's wrong?" Joe noticed her reaction.

Allison forced a smile on her face. "Nothing, just a bad dream I had earlier." He continued to stare at her. "I promise, everything is okay." Joe nodded after a moment of silence, accepting her answer for now.

He squeezed her hand in comfort. "You know I'm here for you, Al. I'll always be here for you."

She bit her lip to keep from crying and kept her eyes trained on the road. "I know," she whispered.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Joe and Allison))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

_5:15 _

Joe noticed the time on the clock as they entered they house and smiled, noting that he and Allison still had two hours to spend together until Bridgette and Marie had to get up for school. He placed his hands on Allison's shoulders and guided her down the hallway to their bedroom. "My, my, Joe, what _is_ on your mind?" Allison asked with a grin.

He smiled back at her. "Sorry, darlin', not that. I don't know about you, but we still have two hours before the girls need to get up and I plan on taking advantage of that and laying down."

"And why am I coming with?" She questioned as they entered their room.

"Because I haven't seen you in six days. I don't plan on having you leave my sight for the next twenty four hours, at the very least." Joe pulled her down on the bed, keeping her in his arms.

Allison giggled and kissed him softly. "I like that plan," she whispered while laying he head on his chest. She listened to his heart beat beneath her ear and took comfort in it's sound. His arms held her tightly against him, making her feel safe. Slowly her eyes began to close...

_I stood outside the building, dark, gloomy clouds hanging over top of it. My heart was pounding as officers rushed around me. I recognized this day. There was a man in Aerodytech getting ready to shoot the director...and Joe was in there._

_The gunshots sounded and for a moment I could feel my heart stop. I could see the SWAT team moving past the windows, towards the direction of the shots. Static crackled over the Chief of Police's radio before a voice was heard. "We need a medical team in here before we lose him!"_

_Him. It had to be Joe. He couldn't leave me._

_Two EMT's rushed past me and into the building. I had to see Joe. I ran after the EMT's ignoring the calls from Devalos as I headed in. There was a crowd around the doorway to the office and a member from the SWAT team tried to hold me back. I glared at him as I walked past._

_The two EMT's who were called in were standing by a body who was partially hidden by a sheet. Quickly I made my way over to them. It was Joe. Blood was streaming out from a wound in his chest that I knew was too close to his heart. "He's not going to make it," the EMT said._

_"No, he has to make it!" I screamed at them. I knelt down to Joe's body and laid my hands on hsi chest, his blood soaking my fingers. "You can't leave me, Joe. You have to fight! Come on, fight, Joe! Don't leave me." Tears started falling. "I can't live without you. I need you. If you die, I die."_

_The EMT who spoke put two fingers to his neck, searching for a pulse. He shook his head grimly. "I'm sorry, miss, but he's gone."_

Joe felt Allison jump in his arms and immediately woke up. He noticed Allison was shaking and staring at her hands. Swiftly he sat up and grabbed her hands, forcing her to look up at him. Her eyes shone with tears. Joe reached out and caressed her cheek. "Al are you okay? What happened?"

She shook her head and pulled away from his grasp. Dejected, he put his hands in his lap as he stared at her with questioning eyes. "N-nothing. Just a bad dream." She glanced at the clock before getting up. "I have to get the girls ready and leave for school." Allison quickly walked out of the room, refusing to meet his eyes.

_'What the hell is going on with her?'_ Joe thought to himself as he watched her leave.


End file.
